


Heartsore

by NorthStar



Category: Kingdom Hearts, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, KiHo Bingo, Kingdom Hearts AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 12:53:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11669520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NorthStar/pseuds/NorthStar
Summary: During a devastating attack on Radiant Garden, Hoseok meets someone he thought he would never see again.





	Heartsore

**Author's Note:**

> For the Kiho bingo square "Kingdom Hearts". I am always a nerd for nerdy things. Also, the Kingdom Hearts plot and universe is super convoluted and not always internally consistent, so please take any liberties with the functions in stride. It's not too glaring.
> 
> While it is set firmly in the established KH universe (albeit with a slightly different plot than the original games, i.e. Sora and co do not make an appearance) it should be readable even to those unfamiliar with the games.
> 
> Warnings: violence, allusions to death

 

 

 

Rubble is falling down all around him, sparks flying and cables whistling as they whip through the air and smash down dangerously on the pavement ahead of him. There are screams and screeches in the distance, from people and creatures alike, but Hoseok has enough trouble just staying alive himself as he tries to evade the crumpling structures from the elaborate buildings and archways in Radiant Garden.

 

It was so sudden, in one way anticipated but still taking everyone by surprise – the Nobodies had appeared more rapidly lately, growing in numbers and frequency, and maybe they should have expected the little monsters to suddenly appear with bigger monsters at their backs to really cause havoc and destruction rather than mere mischief. But it was far from a gradual development, and they went from idle skeletons, the Dusk, one day to massive behemoths the next, catching them unaware and unprepared.

 

And Hoseok supposes things could be worse, because Radiant Garden has experienced monstrous attacks before – three years ago, five years ago, decades ago. And a fair share of the inhabitants has, if not outright participated in battles before, then at least received some self-defense training.

 

Hoseok is among the latter category, still.

 

But that does not help him much now, because he does not possess any magic or legendary weapons, and his meagre martial arts and fire-breathing skills cannot save him from ceilings caving in, flooded alleys and Nobody club hands as big as a truck.

 

The only thing he can do is to run.

 

And run he does.

 

He’s not sure exactly where he is running to, only that he is running from the wild, rampaging monster behind him, and hopefully he can find somewhere safer – the Plazas are at least an option without a great deal of falling buildings, but he can also be targeted more easily out in the open. Not that the Nobody is following Hoseok in particular, but he just can’t seem to shake it off him. He was at the library when the attack started, and had to take a back exit out which led to the underground infrastructure complex, and he is only just getting out of the maze.

 

Maybe if he can find someone else – Leon and Yuffie are usually in the centre of the fray, and they will always give everything to protect the city from wild attacks. Both weapon masters and magick-users, to a certain extent at least, they will be their best chances at driving the Nobodies back.

 

But Hoseok has no idea where they are – he would follow the sound of fighting, if he could hear anything above the noise of the roaring monster and the crash of falling rock and concrete.

 

A huge flower stall falls down right next to him, shattering from one of the high ledges above him, and Hoseok weeps a little at the loss of the beautiful architecture that characterizes Radiant Garden. The soft, clear pastel colours are marred by scorch marks, dirt and even – dare he say it – blood, something black and oily, even purple poison clouds that will evaporate in a few hours. The wondrous arches and elegantly kept gardens are trampled, torn down, and even the waterfalls running through the city appear to be disrupted by stray bricks and light poles.

 

The castle in the sky is falling down.

 

A smaller Nobody, a bare skeleton Dusk, appears before him and forces him to halt his run, and they are faster than him, Hoseok knows, he cannot outrun this one as well. But the behemoth is approach from behind, and he can’t stay.

 

The Nobody reaches out to stab him with its long, sharp claws, darting about him in quick circles, and Hoseok tries his best to dodge, but still feels the stinging pain of needle-like appendages scratching his bare arms. He tries to block its movements, but only succeeds two out of seven times, and it’s a futile attempt at length. The thing can chase him for hours, but he isn’t quick enough to strike back – and even if he could, the darn thing would just slink back into the shadows and become intangible to his bare fists.

 

He tries something else instead.

 

They’re on a ledge now, bannister torn down in holes across it, and Hoseok carefully manoeuvres himself towards the opening, and while the Nobodies are far smarter than their Heartless counterparts, they are still not cunning or observant, certainly not in the face of an easy prey.

 

Hoseok isn’t easy prey, but he might look like it right now – and he can use that to his advantage.

 

He balances precariously on the edge, and one wrong move could send him falling down into the river beneath, but that’s part of the plan. He kicks at the Nobody, knowing fully well that it will not hit, but it makes the creature move back, just a little bit, just enough to make it pounce to get right back in with its claws at Hoseok’s throat –

 

But he takes the opportunity, and moves to the side while it is suspended mid-air, and with a loud screech, the Nobody falls into the coursing water below, disappearing in the currents.

 

Hoseok can’t pause to celebrate his success. The thunderous steps and mighty roars of the behemoth is approaching rapidly, and he needs to find the others.

 

Hopefully the vulnerable – the children and the elderly, the injured from the previous attacks – have found shelters and are weathering this all out while their defences fight them off. Hoseok knows where the emergency bunker is, but it is so far away from him, on the other side of the city, and he’s not sure if he’ll make it.

 

He heads for the centre Plazas after all, hoping that Yuffie and Leon have lead the biggest monsters to the only thing that passes for a relatively open battlefield. If the behemoth behind him is following his scent, after all, he can help gather them all in one place. He can lead the Nobody to slaughter.

 

He trusts their fighters that much.

 

The sounds of yelling and agitated cries confirm his suspicions, because he certainly recognizes Yuffie’s high-pitched screeches and Leon’s frustrated roars. Maybe Cloud is there as well. And probably Aerith, if she isn’t down with the others in hiding, helping out and providing a directing hand.

 

Hoseok can help as well – he just needs to recollect his bearings, orient himself to the others. He is not an outstanding fighter, but he is good with people, and he has courage. That’s worth more than nothing in times like these.

 

Radiant Garden is normally a happy place, a peaceful and nice place. People help each other, know each other, live from day to day in harmony.

 

Until they find themselves under attack.

 

Hoseok really, sincerely wishes he could do more. He wants to be out there, helping their fighters, defend their city and drive these monsters back from their beloved little world.

 

But the enemy is larger than him – larger than a mere librarian’s apprentice.

 

It’s frustrating, but it’s the reality of things.

 

At least he is quick, he is observant and daring, and if he can just catch a glimpse of what’s going on, he can let the others know, he can get to the slingshot at the tower if they need him to, he can try something –

 

The behemoth suddenly breaks out from the wall on his side, sending boulders flying and debris spraying over Hoseok’s head as he falls down into a crouch to avoid the fallout as much as possible. Its massive snout turns around at Hoseok’s surprised cry, and the prickly yellow eyes find his.

 

It roars again, and charges towards him.

 

Hoseok doesn’t have time to think, but rolls over and pushes himself off the ledge, just barely avoiding the sharp teeth snapping shut above him. He falls, but something green flashes in the corner of his eye, and he somehow understands that he has fallen down next to a wall with ravines. He stretches his hands out, desperately trying to grab a hold as the ground comes closer and closer, and his fingers catch and scratch and burn, and he thinks he feels at least one of them snap back from the scuffle, but finally, he is able to grab a hold first with one hand and then another.

 

The momentum stops him brutally, and he crashes against the wall, knocking the breath out of him and leaving him dizzy for more than a second, but he refuses to let go.

 

When he regains his sense of vertigo, he looks up and sees that the behemoth has passed. Probably heading towards bigger prey – maybe it didn’t even see him as he fell.

 

Hoseok lets out a loud sigh and half climbs, half slides the final, short stretch down to solid ground beneath his feet. He braces himself against the wall for a second, trying to make out any injuries. His ribs are bruising already, arms bloody and there is a small bump on his head, but nothing serious. It will all pass.

 

Still, it was dangerously close, and he can’t help but shake a little at his narrow escape.

 

Some poor fighter he is. If he can’t even escape a single blow without hurting himself, there is no way he could help the others.

 

It is frustrating beyond belief. Hoseok hates feeling so helpless.

 

He sighs again and turns around to figure out where is, and where to go from here.

 

But instead of the lonely platform he expected to see, there is a dark figure ahead of him.

 

Human, with dark hair and pale skin, but enveloped by a coat so black it seems to be made from solid darkness itself – nothing ever seen or associated with Radiant Garden.

 

And it gives Hoseok an ominous feeling.

 

Nothing good is ever associated with darkness – certainly not in these times.

 

Is he an ally of the Nobodies?

 

Commander?

 

He still hasn’t turned around despite Hoseok’s commotion, instead facing an open space beneath the platform, where Tifa is punching through Nobodies of various ranks and leading two young boys away to safety.

 

“Who are you?” Hoseok demands, boldly. “What are you doing here?”

 

The stranger turns a little, and Hoseok notices the small ribbon circling his head at approximately eye level – he sees the knot discreetly hidden in black hair, so identical in colour that it was almost impossible to see at first, certainly with the setting sun in Hoseok’s eyes and shading the stranger’s figure from ahead.

 

But he still doesn’t answer Hoseok’s question – still doesn’t turn around to face him.

 

“I said, who are you? You’re not a native, show yourself!”

 

The stranger shakes his head a little, and it frustrates Hoseok – he is tired of this attack, tired of these invaders, tired of being ignored and not contributing and falling behind.

 

Tired of being nothing.

 

With only a few short strides, he moves forward and grabs the stranger’s shoulder to forcibly turn around, to clear this up, or punch him, or at least do _something_ -

 

But he knows that face.

 

He knows the sharp cheekbones beneath the blindfold, the purse of small lips and tell-tale wrinkle between the brows.

 

He knows, even though the brilliant, hazel eyes are denied him and hidden away behind a wall of pure blackness – dark, evil. Away from Hoseok.

 

And yet –

 

This is impossible.

 

“Kihyun?”

 

He expects an answer, guilty admission or dismissal, something, anything, but all he gets is a slight head inclination, towards the ground, evading Hoseok’s gaze.

 

Then he steps back, and Hoseok realizes, even the height and built is right. The hair a little bit shorter on the sides, the cheeks a bit less full and the mouth not nearly as smiling as before, but even so…

 

This is not possible. Not now, not for three years, not since that night –

 

Is it a lie? An illusion, mirage, a nightmare conjured to haunt Hoseok and torture him in his waking moments until he goes crazy with guilt and pleasure?

 

Why?

 

Why would this…

 

Is it a trick from the Nobodies? A deception designed to lure prey into a false sense of security and then take them out quickly?

 

But why go through the alterations – why the coat, the blindfold, why not restore Hoseok’s last image of him instead –

 

He licks his lips. His mouth feels dry.

 

“Kihyun…” He starts, slowly, hesitant, and his voice sounds hollow and weak.

 

“Kihyun, is that you?”

 

“Hoseok.”

 

That –

 

That is Kihyun’s voice. Deep, smooth and a little muffled around the edges, but still so beautiful to Hoseok’s ears. It’s almost exactly as he remembers it, matured, maybe, hoarser, but still the same.

 

It’s just the sound – the sound of the weight behind the voice is different. Heavier, sadder, wearier.

 

“Is this real?” Hoseok mumbles. “Is it you?”

 

“It is,” Kihyun admits, quietly, facing away from Hoseok. Turning, stepping forward, towards the edge of the platform, but not hurriedly. Not like he intends to leave.

 

Hoseok never wants to see him leave again.

 

Kihyun – the image of Kihyun, this person ahead of him, this spectre – tells him it is true, but Hoseok doesn’t know if he can believe it. The pain is still too raw, even after so long, but true or not, he cannot bear watching Kihyun disappear again.

 

Despite… Despite the obvious ruse.

 

This is not possible.

 

“No,” Hoseok shakes his head. “That can’t be. I – I saw you die.”

 

“You saw me fall into the abyss,” Kihyun says, still quiet, almost detached. Lacking vitality, lacking attitude, lacking anything. Just plainly stating it, like a fact. “It’s not the same.”

 

“Then what did you fall to? What happened to you?”

 

“You don’t understand.”

 

“No, of course I don’t!” Hoseok growls, steps forward to turn the mirage back to him, moves his hand up to tug at the blindfold, because if he can see the eyes, he will _know_ – “I have no idea what happened, but you _died_! You cannot be real!”

 

Kihyun – the _image_ of Kihyun – is faster, and moves away, just a step, just out of Hoseok’s reach.

 

Hoseok isn’t going to give up that easily.

 

“You cannot be real,” he says again, blinking away tears as he feels the devastation from three years ago well up again, feeling the raw ache and loss as if it is new, and in a way, maybe this is. It’s a reminder, the taunt of a new life, but it is so wrong, everything feels out of place, and this _thing_ ahead of him doesn’t act like Kihyun at all. “If you are… If you are Kihyun returned to me…”

 

He pauses, and takes in the face again. The edges, contours of something he knows so well, the face he has seen a thousand times in his dream since that fateful night, when an attack tore open the ground and pulled Kihyun down into nothingness with it…

 

Only now it is obscured to him.

 

Tainted.

 

Why?

 

“When I fell down, I was taken by the darkness,” Kihyun says, still in such a dead, monotone voice, and it sounds so wretched in Hoseok’s ears. “It broke me, twisted me, stole from me… For an eternity, it tore at my body and soul. But it didn’t end me.”

 

“Then what happened?” Hoseok prompts, and he isn’t able to process what Kihyun – he – is saying, what that means, but it doesn’t sound good.

 

Maybe it is Kihyun.

 

Maybe it is – after such a long time, Kihyun has returned, changed, but still…

 

He used to be an ordinary boy like Hoseok. Grew up by his side, shared all his jokes and victories and losses and ambitions. They were the same, a bit isolated in their own little world but that was fine, and Hoseok never noticed how ordinary he was until he lost Kihyun.

 

Didn’t notice how his world was so dependent on him.

 

Didn’t notice how small he was by himself.

 

“It took my heart,” the Kihyun spectre says, and Hoseok feels his stomach drop.

 

He has heard the stories of how the Heartless came to be – and the Nobodies. When someone dies, a Heartless is made, and if their heart was strong, the remnants become a Nobody.

 

No.

 

Kihyun could not have become a Nobody – Hoseok would never _allow_ it. He wouldn’t allow Kihyun, sweet, precious Kihyun, be reduced to an emotionless creature made to kill, made to serve the darkness, made to destroy.

 

The thought is too painful to even consider. His Kihyun, caring Kihyun, walking around as a shell and taking lives instead of nursing them. It’s a mockery to everything Kihyun was, had ever been – what his memory still is.

 

But didn’t he say that he didn’t die?

 

“My heart was ripped it away from me, but I survived – not whole, but with some semblance of life, and something new,” the image – _Kihyun_ says.

 

“What does that mean?” Hoseok asks, cautiously. “What did you get? What did you lose?”

 

“For the whole where my heart was, the darkness gave me power,” Kihyun tells him. “Power, and a mission. Or half a mission, at least – until my heart is restored.”

 

“When will that be?” And does that mean that Kihyun – the true, real Kihyun – will return to Hoseok, alive and complete and well?

 

“I don’t know. Possibly never.”

 

Hoseok pauses.

 

He let himself hope for a second, let himself think about the Kihyun he lost three years ago – let himself entertain the hope that they could go back to what they were, maybe, in just a short while.

 

It’s a wonderful dream.

 

So wonderful that Hoseok lets himself believe it can become true.

 

“But…. You’re here.”

 

Kihyun raises an eyebrow, visible over the blindfold.

 

“It’s… It can be okay, because you’re here now, right?” Hoseok starts, desperately. “You can stay. You’re finally home, you can – you shouldn’t leave. Please stay.”

 

“Why would I stay?” Kihyun sighs, not exasperated, like he used to, not disappointed, not fond. Just a sigh. “My mission is to look over the Nobodies. That’s all.”

 

“No, no,” Hoseok protests, shaking his head for emphasis, and the words tumble out of his mouth. “That shouldn’t be all, just stay, here with me, right? Please. Just like before.”

 

“I won’t stay.”

 

“Please, Kihyun, I’m begging you,” Hoseok grabs his hand. It feels warm. It feels real. It feels human. “Please stay, for my sake. We can work this out together, now that you’re back – “

 

“I’m not back,” Kihyun says, pulling his hand out of Hoseok’s grip and if Hoseok had paid attention, he would have noticed Kihyun’s hackles rising, impatience growing – but he is too caught up in his own desperate desire to realize the danger building around them, the shift in the air, the curiousity of Dusk nobodies hovering at a safe distance around them.

 

After three years alone, three years of misery and longing, Hoseok refuses to see Kihyun slip through his fingers again.

 

He steps closer once more, and Kihyun moves back with him, almost stepping over the edge of the platform.

 

“It will be okay,” Hoseok tries again, puts on his most gentle, caring voice, soothing, as if pacifying a scared animal and not…

 

Whatever Kihyun has become.

 

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I’m just so happy to see you alive, Kihyun, I still love you so much, I never stopped loving you – “

 

“Don’t you get it?” Kihyun snaps, throwing his arm out, and the bricks on the platform beneath them crack and implode on themselves in a straight line following the motion of Kihyun’s hand. At the same time, sudden clouds fall over the remnants of the sun and puts an uneasy shadow over all of Radiant Garden. “I don’t care about you, Hoseok! I can’t anymore!”

 

“Of course you can,” Hoseok shakes his head. “I – I loved you. I still love you. And you loved me – don’t tell me you have forgotten?”

 

“I haven’t forgotten, no,” Kihyun shakes his head in exasperation. And suddenly, he becomes expressive, something more than monotone, factual, a speaking doll. Only - it’s not in a good way. “But that was when I had a heart. I don’t anymore. Now I can’t care about anyone.”

 

“But you’re upset,” Hoseok argues. “If you can be upset, you can be happy – and if you can be happy, you can care. And if you can care, you can – “

 

“Shut up, Hoseok, you’re making a fool of yourself,” Kihyun hisses. “Your friend – the Kihyun you knew is gone now. _He_ is dead. All that’s left is me.”

 

“You’re still him, somehow - I’ll care for you like I did – “

 

“It’s useless! I won’t let you!”

 

And then, before Hoseok can even react, Kihyun waves his hand again, and a dark hole ripples open in the air behind him, just big enough for a small human to step through. Hoseok can’t see what’s on the other side, but Kihyun is already stepping off the platform and into the magical door suspended in the air, and it’s like he disintegrates as soon as he touches the dark material.

 

And then he is gone, in the blink of an eye, and the portal vanishes with no trace – if Hoseok hadn’t seen it fade away in a split second, he wouldn’t have realized it was ever there.

 

But this is…

 

Kihyun has never been magical.

 

Kihyun never used to be able to open portals in the middle of nowhere, to crack rocks and create sparks at the flick of a finger.

 

And worse yet –

 

Kihyun used to love Hoseok.

 

This…

 

Is it worse than if Kihyun had just disappeared in the abyss? If the fall had really meant death, and at least peace, rather than this. This warp of everything Kihyun was, the exploitation and continued abuse of someone who doesn’t even realize how much of an insult that new form is to his own memory.

 

Hoseok falls to his knees.

 

He doesn’t know what to do. Where does he go from here – what can he do? How can he find Kihyun again, and even so…

 

What can he do to regain the man he loved?

 

There must be something. Anything – a magic trick, a trade, a monster to defeat at the end of the world for Kihyun’s lost heart.

 

There must be _something_ he can do –

 

Maybe there is.

 

Maybe there is something to be done, some powerful foes to overcome, but then again… How can Hoseok, ordinary, weak Hoseok, possibly win the fight against darkness and life itself? He is only a poor man, barely able to look after himself and without the strengths his friends possess. He can only run away from danger, not counter it.

 

Even if there is a solution, Hoseok can’t find it. Can’t see it through.

 

Can’t restore Kihyun to what he was, because he is _too weak._

It’s a shattering realization after he let himself build up his hope – after his mind went haywire from seeing Kihyun again after three years, alive, to some measure, moving, expressive –

 

Only with the blindfold.

 

He wishes he could see Kihyun’s eyes again.

 

He knows, in Kihyun’s eyes, he would be able to see if there is anything left to be salvaged.

 

There must be.

 

But Hoseok spends too much time thinking, lost in his own head again, and he forgets about the battle in the city, forgets about the Nobodies following the interaction on the platform.

 

And with Kihyun gone, the spell is broken.

 

Hoseok barely hears the skeletons approaching before they pounce to attack.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I have further plot developments in my head, but I also don't think I'll ever have the time to write it (although I sincerely wish I could), so I'll leave this as "complete" for now. But thankfully, AO3 has the wonderful option to turn complete fics into chaptered ones, so there is still hope..
> 
> Also, I was going to switch the roles around this time and have Hoseok be the tortured, grey-moral character, but then Shine Forever happened and Kihyun in a blindfold meant this entire fic had to be shifted around. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! Comments are greatly appreciated :)


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